Since being described as a ‘constitution for the oceans’ at its adoption in 1982, the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea has evolved to hold a special status among multilateral treaties. As a constitution—actual or perceived—the has provided the framework and processes for a relatively dynamic law of the sea that has developed to address new environmental, technological and geopolitical challenges in the forty years since its adoption. By necessity however, these developments have been incremental in nature and have been confined by the parameters of the constitution. In this article, I argue that such incremental change will be insufficient if the law of the sea is to adapt to the Anthropocene, our current geological and geopolitical Epoch. In this article, I argue that the characterisation of the as a ‘constitution for the oceans’ has become a straitjacket for the regime and is preventing the serious exploration of alternative epistemological imaginaries of the law of the sea. I argue for a quiet abandonment of the description of the as a ‘constitution for the oceans’ and the actual and perceived consequences of the appellation.