INTRODUCTION: To learn of a terminal illness is devastating at any age. How much more so when it occurs in early or mid-adulthood, when people are busy with family and career goals. Those facing death when under 65 years of age are a group whose voice is virtually invisible in the palliative caregiving literature. Yet one in every five people die in Aotearoa New Zealand before 65 years of age. For Maori, almost half will die under the age of 65. METHODS: This qualitative descriptive research involved semi-structured interviews with eight bereaved family carers focusing on the carer’s experience of living with their spouse during their final illness. FINDINGS: Analysis of the research narratives revealed the strengths of love, hope, family, teamwork and resilience in navigating these experiences. CONCLUSION: In order to support holistic care for those who are receiving palliative care, this research advocates for strength-based assessments to support carers during the illness of their family member. This gives a different lens to the caregiving narrative which has, as its focus, the growth of human potential as well as enabling partnerships between palliative care practitioners and family carers.